What is Worry?

I remember a song by Bobby McFerrin “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”  I remember that the words stuck in my memory after hearing it.  I wish it had lasted longer to save me from a lot of wasted time.  Perhaps someone is thinking: “Of course you are supposed to worry.  If you care, you worry.”  Look at what is happening to this world.  How can you not be worried?   I sit across from beautiful, caring people, who tell me with pride how they worry about their children, family, health concerns, work, money, and a host of difficult situations they are facing.  As a society, we are taught and encouraged to worry.  We are raised to worry.  Worry has been linked to caring and love.  If you love your grandchildren, then you must worry about them.  A person has a spouse who is not feeling well or is ill. You are in constant worry about how this is going to affect everyone’s life.  An employee worries about keeping their job, and how management views their value.  Many children today are filled with worry, because of the pressure they face at a very early age.   What is worry anyway?  It is a chain of thoughts and images of negative and sometimes un-controllable imaginative fear.  Fear is used to control a situation.  It repulses, and keeps us away from something.  If something is to be avoided, then fear will often be involved.  Some fears warn us away from danger while others trap and paralyze us.  Where there is fear, there is desire.  They go together.  You want a house. You somehow get into a “bad loan” where you are stressed financially and out of fear we begin to worry.    You are not getting along in a relationship.  You worry that the person is going to leave or find someone else.  Your security is threatened on a number of levels, and worry begins to consume you.   Worry is based on a number of factors.  And it can often seem to serve a purpose.

1. There are those who feel they have to be miserable in order to deserve happiness.  They must worry and be punished for something good to possibly happen.
2. Worry is used as a sign of loving and has been partnered with caring:   “I love you… I worry about you.”  “John doesn’t even care.  He does not act the least bit worried.”
3. Worry gives you a feeling that you can influence the result. Worry takes on a role that you may think is manifesting but instead, it is fear.
4. Worry can give you the thought that you are being responsible. When I worry about a situation, I think that I am dealing with it.
5. Worry could be used to avoid the real solution.  It keeps our mind busy so we do not have to take action.
6. Perhaps there is a control issue and worry is used as an excuse to control someone else.  In the name of worry, we may keep others from doing what they need or want to do.
7. Worry can be an ego boast and also arrogance thinking that we are the only one that can solve the problem.  In our minds we place others in a weakened position.

  One might get confused that worry and Faith are the same.  Worry is not having faith.  Worry is fear and a desire base, and will not create happiness or the feeling of peace.  Imagination is not reality and you can spend all day in worrying and creating your version of insanity and not solve anything except more anxiety and chaos.   As a hypnotist, I learned that the subconscious mind cannot process negatives.  If you tell yourself not to think about food, you will think about food.  You have just programmed it.  Worry ties you to whatever you say that you do not want.  It prevents, resists and avoids the desired outcome.  Worrying is like stepping on your automobile’s accelerator before you crash into a car.  We chant our mantra of fear over and over and wonder why we are so unhappy.  We sometimes push our worry on others thinking we are helping them.  We confuse worry with awareness or concern.  Worry is different than awareness or concern.  They can lead us to act on something that needs to be fixed. I know people who program problems over and over.  I was just learning to chant mantras.  One day, I realized that chanting the negative worry is easy.  We just chant and chant what we don’t want.  At work, I have two very strong magnets I ask people to hold them.  The magnets cling together with a strong force.  If you take one magnet and turn it around where the magnet poles are opposite, the force repels with the same strength.  That is what happens when we worry.   After all of worry words in the column, you may never want to hear that word again.  Maybe the chant should be….be happy…word deleted. Have a peaceful and non-worry week! Click here to reach Nancy